One Step at a Time
From strangers bound together by grief and the need for action, to walking companions who have covered hundreds of miles, we speak with the three dads changing the narrative around suicide prevention
Words PHOEBE HARPER
Across the UK, it’s a grievous reality that suicide remains the biggest killer of under 35s. Three men who are all too familiar with this harrowing statistic are Andy Airey, Mike Palmer and Tim Owen – bereaved fathers who tragically lost their young daughters to suicide.
Hailing from Cumbria, Greater Manchester and Norfolk, these men have gone from being unknown strangers to champions of awareness following a course that has captured the hearts of the nation. This began in 2021, when the trio, known as Three Dads Walking, decided to embark on a 300-mile epic trek across Britain from the scenic Lakeland Fells and on to the stark plains of the eastern Fens to raise money for Papyrus – the national charity for the prevention of young suicide.
“Walking and talking is what we do, and smashing the stigma around mental health and suicide is our goal,” says Mike, who lost his 17-year-old daughter Beth to suicide in 2020. “With every step we remember our girls, and this gives us the courage to make a difference.”
Walking for change
The following year, in 2022, Three Dads Walking set their sights on doubling their original distance, covering 600 miles between the parliaments of all four nations – from Northern Ireland, through Scotland, Wales and England. During this walk, they got over 100,000 signatures for a petition to include suicide prevention on the national curriculum. This resulted in a House of Commons debate and a Pride of Britain Award for all three of them soon after.
The combination of both feats has seen Three Dads Walking raise over a million pounds for Papyrus, including £10,000 each from Hollywood actors Daniel Craig and Nicole Kidman, alongside Scottish footballing legend Lou Macari, who lost his son to suicide.
These efforts have effectively culminated in the charity significantly accelerating its growth plans. In 2023, Papyrus extended the opening hours of its suicide prevention helpline to a 24/7 service, meaning that HOPELINE247 is now available all hours of the day to offer an invaluable lifeline to those in need. In addition, the charity’s operational footprint has now expanded from five offices across the UK to 18. This is a trajectory of growth that is only set to continue in the face of a mental health epidemic.
“Like many, I was shocked to find out that suicide is the biggest killer of under 35s in the UK, and often wondered if our stories would have been different if we or our girls had known about Papyrus and the charity’s HOPELINE247 service,” shares Tim, who lost his 19-year-old daughter Emily in 2020.
The mission is far from over. At time of writing, Three Dads Walking are over 20 days into their third walk – a 500-mile course from Scotland through the eastern counties of England, bypassing recently opened or soon-to-open Papyrus offices.
“This walk is about refocusing our fundraising efforts to help Papyrus achieve its goals and extend the lifesaving work the charity does,” comments Andy, who became a suicide-bereaved parent in 2018 following the passing of his 29-year-old daughter Sophie. “Along the way, we will talk to loads of people, some of whom will be new to the charity; we will raise funds to help Papyrus open more offices, train more people and stop preventable suicides.”
“Our third walk is born from the belief that more precious young lives can be saved,” echoes Mike. “Progress is being made – but we hear of more tragic stories every week; there is so much work to do.”
Stories of hope
Although tragedy, pain and grief are the undeniable threads that bind these three men, their story is one of strength, resilience, hope and, more often than not, humour. This is best embodied in their new book, also available in audio format, Three Dads Walking: 300 Miles of Hope.
An inspiring and empowering tale, the book was pieced together from personal diary entries recorded by the dads during their travels. Naturally, it tackles some hard-hitting themes, like the power of speaking out and the heavy burden of grief, but it’s equally about friendship and the meditative power of walking as a vehicle to encourage conversation – after all, sometimes it can be easier to open up when faced with the open countryside as opposed to baring your soul to someone face to face.
As one might suspect, it’s also full of the usual trials and tribulations of any good walking story, like laughing and crying together, with a good deal of blisters thrown in along the way.
“Andy, Mike and Tim are ordinary dads who will be continuing their extraordinary mission to raise awareness and spread hope, helping to start vital conversations about suicide that too many families feel unable or unwilling to have,” shares Ged Flynn, chief executive of Papyrus.
Encouraging us all to open up and speak out to erase the stigma surrounding suicide, Three Dads Walking will continue to put one foot in front of the other – not only for all young people across the UK, but for Beth, Emily and Sophie.
Three Dads Walking will be speaking at Ely Cathedral on 3 June. Tickets are available at toppingbooks.co.uk.
Find out more and follow their journey at 3dadswalking.uk.
For practical, confidential suicide prevention help and advice, please contact PAPYRUS HOPELINE247 on 0800 068 4141, text 88247 or email [email protected]
